Confession :p

July 21, 2008

It has been such a long time since this heart felt like a rollercoaster or this body felt like a hurricane.

I am crushing on a 37 year old man. A non-Kuwaiti co-worker. Married with children.

He is currently away visiting his country, and I am so looking forward to seeing him next month when he comes back. I am bad, I know.

I have had so many crushes in my life. Hearing my friend’s stories and adventures made me feel really stupid. I never really made a move on anyone.. While everyone else was enjoying their teens I was living as a perfectionist saint. I never talked to a guy on the phone or the sort. I never hit on a girl. I never experienced any of this thrill. I was being a good girl.. Now I think, what a waste.. Everyone has had an experience or two, no?

Now I find myself crushing again. Thinking about him constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I am not planning our marriage life or the sort. All I am thinking of is his touch. Completely sexual, and if this was not a blog I would have been very ashamed of this confession.

Often when I am working with him I wonder what he would think or do if only he knew that he was the king of my bed and pleasure. If only he knew that he was the master of all my fantasies.

But, like a good girl or shy girl or a dumb girl. Whatever you wanna call it.. I am never going to have him. They really ought to make pills to reduce lust.

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