August 29, 2008

I thought of taking up smoking many times.. Like many of you (maybe) I light a cigarette once every few months.. The main reason I never made it a (bad) habit and stuck to being an occasional smoker is, well, not wanting to be controlled by a cigarette. I keep a promise to myself that nothing on this earth shall ever enslave me.. Let alone a roll of paper and tobacco.

But I am wrong.

I am very much enslaved..

I wish to be free from him. That monster who keeps me enslaved.. That jerk who controls me.. He is the C in “Control”.. With him I am the H in “helpless”.

Who is he?

Well isn’t it obvious?

He is my heart..

That little organ that keeps me alive..

That very organ that is squeezed with ache everytime I picture my life alone.
Alone as in without her. Her as in the only person who ever understood me, the only person who ever deserved me. The one I love.

Do not release me from your grip, silly little heart of mine. I never want to be free of this enslavement. I never want to live without every beat of yours speaking her name.

Don’t ask me why my heart is a “he”. It just came out that way!

5 Responses to “Enslaved”

  1. Amu Says:

    well written 🙂 really liked it..I thought u couldn’t live without cigarette till I read its your heart ;p

  2. Seattle dude Says:

    Sounds like your in a yin-yang kind of dilemma there crux

  3. cruxine Says:

    Well my heart is smoked up pretty much like a cigarette right now. 🙂
    Welcome to my blog, sir.

  4. hautepocket Says:

    I really like this entry. Very honest and heartfelt!

  5. maybe your heart is right but your mind is not?

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