Diary 1: A friend..

March 11, 2009

Last night was very strange.

I never know how to make friends, or how to choose them.. But when I somehow do make a “friend” this completely different part of me comes out. A caring personality.. Too kind for my liking.

A couple of nights ago, as you may know, I had a fight with someone I call a friend.

Last night someone who is actually a friend came to my room crying… Talking to her reminded me of how a friend actually feels like.. And it made me not regret my fight with that other girl.. Can her type of person be called a friend, really? Someone who finds comfort in putting you down.. Someone negative.. Someone who likes to point out your flaws as “jokes” and then gets “really upset” when you joke back?

A is a friend, she is at least as good a friend as I may have in this country.. Closer than anyone and more suitable than anyone.. Talking to her is comfortable.. Having her cry on my bed is fine.. I relate to her, and she doesn’t call me “simple”.. She doesn’t think she’s “superior than me” just because I come from Kuwait.

But there is a catch. Do I really want to take care of someone?

It’s very tiring, the whole giving thing.. I’ve been through it before and I don’t want to go through it again.. I don’t mind it now, in fact I was happy to make her feel better.. But.. If it’s constant, can I really carry on? Do I have the energy to keep up with it?

She shares secrets with me.. About her life.. About her lover.. About her changes..

She told me about that night in the taxi, when she turned from a dependent child to an independent woman only by realizing that in fact she is..

God takes, God gives.

I may have lost a person, but it wasn’t a loss.

And I love this photograph.

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