I’m sick of vampires

September 25, 2009

For me it started with Twilight, which would have been brilliant if I was say… 15.. and still believed in romance between a girl and a guy! (Men are too sexually driven for romance, sorry).

Then a friend (grrrrr) recomended True Blood... Which was so lame and cheesy and yet I still got hooked on the mysteries and watched both season one and two.. By the middle of season 2 I decided to stop watching it but then came Jessica… And oh my my my…


“It’s not my fault my fangs come out when I’m turned on!”


Watching True Blood, I figured.. Wait a second! There’s so much about it that’s similar to Twilight! I looked both authors up and guess what?! True Blood’s first novel was released in 2001, while Twilight was released in 2005! Soooo… As cheesy as The Southern Vampire Mysteries may be… They’re not the copycat!

I always knew that woman could not write shit! I mean, talk about lame! All through the book she kept repeating herself.. And there’s not a single page where she doesn’t say oh how beautiful Edward Cullen is! We get it you stupid boy-loving pedophile!

Finally… Today I stumbled across yet another vampire show, based on yet another stupid cheesy book.. That’s The Vampire Diaries, which ALSO had so much (too much) in common with both Twilight and True Blood… But was published in 1991.. So we have a WINNER!

The winner, however, is such a bad show.. Why? Well the actors and actresses are obviously 20+ and they look awfully misplaced on high school desks and between lockers.. It just doesn’t fit! With disregard to this, they also can’t act!

And what’s with the damsel in distress senario all over?

Why can’t the main character be a WOMAN vampire.. And the guy be in danger for a good change?!?

I leave you with yet another photo of Jessica to dwell on the thought. :p


7 Responses to “I’m sick of vampires”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Do we have a winner?

  2. Veronica Says:

    there’s a clever feminist mashup of Buffy vs Edward Cullen over here:

    I have to agree on the Jessica point as well. She seems to show up just in time, in between the “Why am I watching this?” thoughts. Honestly though, I don’t know how many more eppys I can handle. My son likes it and we watch together, so that’s part of it. I just download them, don’t vatch de cable. I think I might be sick of vampires too tho. I think they should turn True Blood into a story around that vampire bar and maybe have Jessica as the lead with Eric as her underling. Someone should add a few curves to the vampire thing, like Jessica steals some of Eric’s blood and spikes it to become more powerful than him. I dunno, now I’m thinking about it. help!

  3. Aru Says:

    She’s so pretty… I thought she’d be an annoying character after season one and I was dreading watching season two because of it… but her character is better than what I expected. And yes, that fang line of hers had to be the best in season 2. lol!

  4. Andy Says:

    That was a terribly written artical very rambley with no point… must be because I’m a man.

  5. dj Says:

    Thankyou! Finally, someone that knows that Meyers can’t write squat! She just repeats the same adjectives again and again…and again.
    (As for the movie…for someone who is meant to be flawless, Edward Cullen has one spectacular bum-chin.)

  6. cruxine Says:

    Andy, this is a blog, not a magazine.. I can ramble all I want, really. But please do not accuse me of having no point. I have 3 points if you were concentrating.. But of course you can always blame it on your gender if you want.]

    Talk about a struggle…

  7. StrgateAtlantis1 Says:

    As a complete and total Twilight hater, I was pleased when I read your enrty. My mother (52) is obsessed with Twilight, and thinks all the character are sooo well written, and that Meyer is a fantastic writer! She’s been BLINDED! I can’t stand Twilight at all, and am sickened by my mother. lol. I can deal with TrueBlood, but everything else has to go…

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