I’m not pregnant

February 9, 2010

I went to my lady-doctor today. I’ve been having funny periods for a while and ignoring them… But the last straw was bleeding on a completely wrong day of the month – out of the blue. I was utterly horrified to be honest, directly my thoughts sprung towards my hymen, and to be honest I felt pathetic… The thought that losing my hymen at the gym is a disaster is ridiculous… And it takes me years back, when my mother was teaching me how to shower myself, and talking to me about always being careful with down there.

I have to admit I am not as careful as I should be, after all I am an arabic young woman who should know the value of her hymen is worth more than gold (please note my bitter sarcasm here). Yes, I used to ride bicycles, and then horses, and I know exactly what I look like down there, I am very curious, and maybe my mom’s mistake was her referring to my vagina as the holy land that originates all taboos. Well, it isn’t, is it? It belongs to me, not to the prospect of a man invading it.

My doc insisted I take a pregnancy test to rule out being pregnant. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and was not convinced when I told her I have never been with a man. Perhaps I wasn’t convincing enough. And when I said I’ve only been with girls she said something about the possibility of getting that child through one of my lady friend’s who’s been with a guy. As though you could simply “catch” pregnancy. But she went on to explain. And yuck.

The ex found it hilarious… In fact her very own words were “Yeah, I wouldn’t swallow it, I would keep it in my mouth to impregnate you with it!” Which lead us to a hideous conversation about snowballing. Tsk tsk.

Good news: I’m not pregnant. + Bad news: I need to take blood tests. *faints*

One Response to “I’m not pregnant”

  1. Shwaish Says:

    hehehe congratulations! 3ala not being pregnant that is.

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