The on-going headache

So today my supervisor at uni finally liked the idea for my project. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a pleasant smile on that face… It really did make my day except for this headache I have that doesn’t seem to want to go away.

Apart from that, I have to hand in a 2500 words project proposal by friday, which I haven’t started writing yet. Good thing the ideas/words are all crammed in my head, I just hope 4 days is enough time to put them on paper. And on Saturday I’ll be flying – enshallah – for a short holiday coz God knows I need one. I am home sick and need a change of scenery, with disregard to the fact that I’m flying even further away from home – enshallah if volcanos decide it’s time to be civil.

There’s this bug in my room that I can’t seem to get rid of. It keeps flying in front of me, flaunting its speed and taunting my bad aim. I thought fruit flies only lived for a day. Ok, I just remembered that I have an over-ripened banana on my shelf while typing this.. This must be why the fly won’t leave. Idiot!

If every time I get a headache I think I’m dying, does that mean I’m watching too much grey’s anatomy/house md? Or does it simply mean I have too much free time and occupy it by fussing?

I’m bored

On a friday night, none the less.

There is a good reason for that, in the last week alone there have been three robberies in my neighborhood, and I am not about to go out at night alone today.

So, I’m bored.

Chat me up, someone, please!!!

My life lacks a penis

She was upset.

I said: “I wish I was marrying you.”

She said: “I would marry you for free.”

She was very upset. But she’s just made me happy for days to come.

So now all I need to do is be re-born with a penis.

Tim Burton @ MoMA

Whoever got to go – I HATE YOU!

I wanted to go to it and I booked to NYC but then the lovely volcano in Iceland canceled my flight.

Oh well. 😦

Tim Burton = I love.

Anyway, my ex got me a nice Burton tee. So I’m partially happy.

Because it’s sunny outside.

I got back from Kuwait to London recently, since my short vacation is over.

In Kuwait, I realized that my lips can still function passionately on another human being, as awkward as it may be, even if their name is not is synch with my heart beat.

Of course, since she has decided to take a stroll down Straight Ville – I don’t blame her since that’s where people get babies from – I am left to explore other possible connections. Only to realize in the end that I am not cut for this crap, and that I would rather walk down with her on Straight Avenue while she goes on about her daily life, simply because I want to be with her whether the way I want or not.

So yeah, I finally gave in to the ridiculous “best friend” label. Happily doing best-friendish things. And do not blame me, alter-ego, coz you would do the same. How else would I see her? So, I settle, while having my own late teen-like adventures on the side.

On a different note…
You never lose your true friend.

And…
Even though I completely blank on it sometimes; I am not alone in the world.

And…
I am only happy because it’s sunny outside. And because of infinite possibilities ahead.

Selfish/childish/cruel

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

I do not want to know you made memories.

Except with me.

Balqees

What is a blog, then?

I have always had a blog… And usually it’s anonymous, like this right here. I don’t want people to know my first name and I would not like them to recognize me in the street. I am not interested in reading (or keeping up with) other blogs except for a precious few which I visit every few weeks or months depending on how much life I have going on.

So why do I keep a blog?

Easy. Because I am a narcissist who thinks people SHOULD hear (or read) what I have to say. I have ideas, yes, but mainly I have opinions. If you don’t know the difference between the two then you have alot of philosophical reading to do.. Or, of course, you can read my amazing blog and wait for amazing philosophical terms to come up and for me to put them in easy breezy cover girl format for you… You know, the format that suits our easy-digest oriented culture.

Do I think you’re stupid?
Yes, most likely. I probably believe my brain is bigger than your too. And I am probably not that smart anyway, but you’re less smart than I am, so I get to judge you and preech you and sit you in a small chair in the corner and point at you so that everyone else in the room will laugh. Right before you kiss my forehead in gratitute for making you grow up in super extra fast pace.

Have I made people cry?
Yes, I have… And I want to make more people cry. I think the best job for me would be a teacher… I’d make children cry anytime of the day. It gives me great pleasure proving people wrong,,, And usually they end up crying afterwards (in presentations).

I try to be nice.. I always try to be nice because I lack the confidence to  be a total bitch as I am in this blog. Which leads us to the question of why I blog? I blog because I can be a bitch if I am anonymous. I can totally let go of the limitations of being polite.

So… What is a blog?
A blog is the tool I use to fuck people in the ass. Something like a strap on. So bend over, bitches.

Time and Space

Have you ever thought of the spaces you’ve inhabited?

The time you spent there must be accounted for in some way or form… Even if your stay and activity in a place is just a flow that is or will be continuos by some other entity. Whether it be a spider on the wall creating cobwebs in corners, or another human… But if a space is kept empty of all flows of movement and inhabiters for a while, does that spaces become static, while time is still moving?

If spaces were static, then where is the home I grew up in?

Spaces are not static in the end, since we can shape and manipulate and create them. If that’s the case then how does the movement of time and space differ?

Maybe because time does not to be touched and manipulated as far as we know to be moving.

Then again, if we cannot see or understand the true form of time. How do we know it exists? How can we see and feel it the same way we see space and experience it?

More importantly is the question: If time stopped would we feel it? Would we only perceive the true form of time’s movement when we no longer sense it?

I’m not pregnant

I went to my lady-doctor today. I’ve been having funny periods for a while and ignoring them… But the last straw was bleeding on a completely wrong day of the month – out of the blue. I was utterly horrified to be honest, directly my thoughts sprung towards my hymen, and to be honest I felt pathetic… The thought that losing my hymen at the gym is a disaster is ridiculous… And it takes me years back, when my mother was teaching me how to shower myself, and talking to me about always being careful with down there.

I have to admit I am not as careful as I should be, after all I am an arabic young woman who should know the value of her hymen is worth more than gold (please note my bitter sarcasm here). Yes, I used to ride bicycles, and then horses, and I know exactly what I look like down there, I am very curious, and maybe my mom’s mistake was her referring to my vagina as the holy land that originates all taboos. Well, it isn’t, is it? It belongs to me, not to the prospect of a man invading it.

My doc insisted I take a pregnancy test to rule out being pregnant. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and was not convinced when I told her I have never been with a man. Perhaps I wasn’t convincing enough. And when I said I’ve only been with girls she said something about the possibility of getting that child through one of my lady friend’s who’s been with a guy. As though you could simply “catch” pregnancy. But she went on to explain. And yuck.

The ex found it hilarious… In fact her very own words were “Yeah, I wouldn’t swallow it, I would keep it in my mouth to impregnate you with it!” Which lead us to a hideous conversation about snowballing. Tsk tsk.

Good news: I’m not pregnant. + Bad news: I need to take blood tests. *faints*